Dracella Mallory & Harriet Porter
by Visible
Summary: The humorous and slightly audacious story of two girls who were once boys, during their time as students at Hogwarts.


Dracella Mallory & Harriet Porter 

**by Lylian**

_The story of two girls at Hogwarts_

Chapter One

* * *

"Remind me again why I'm doing this."

"Because if we don't then we'll both be expelled."

"Oh. Heh. Right….How the heck do you put this thing on?!"

"You're so stupid, Pothead! You're putting it on backwards."

"…Oh."

Scuffles.

"Malfoy, can you clip me?" asked Harry.

"Uh…sure."

_Clip_.

"Now can you do this for me?" Malfoy pointed.

"Yeah, just turn around."

"Ooph! Not so tight Scarface!" Malfoy growled.

"I don't know why the hell you're in that anyways! It looks uncomfortable."

"It's high class fashion. I'd wear nothing less, even if it is a…"

"Corset?"

"No! Bustier." Sigh. "Just hurry up, Potty."

Once that task was completed, Malfoy turned around and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Put on a shirt. You look ridiculous."

"You're one to talk."

"Well after I drink this potion, I'll be the perfect Pureblood—"

"Prat?"

"That wasn't exactly my choice of words."

Harry threw something at Malfoy.

"Put that on."

"Over my dead body! That's revolting."

"It looks exactly like your old one."

"No, the difference is mine is green. This _thing_ right here is red. I don't do red." Draco was dangling the school robes with his index and thumb, as far away from him as possible.

Harry's patience was thinning. "Alright. Why don't you tell that to Professor Dumbledore, so that he can expel you right away without all this trouble?"

"Whatever," and Malfoy put it on.

After a few seconds, Harry asked, "Ready?"

"Cheers," said Malfoy sarcastically.

The two goblets in their hands clinked together, and the potion was drowned.

* * *

When Draco Malfoy came out of the room, he was no longer Draco Malfoy, just as Harry Potter was no longer Harry Potter.

Under these regrettable circumstances, they were now Dracella Mallory and Harriet Porter.

How had they ended up in this situation? Long story short:

At the beginning of the year, the two enemies began a sort of unofficial "prank war" on one another. No one knows, or cares, who started it, but each prank got worse and worse as time went on. Well, there was a certain fiasco in the Great Hall that caused Dumbledore to change his methods of punishment to a certain degree. The joke, which will remain unknown for the time being, was so horrendous, so abominable that the Headmaster knew if nothing were to be done now, the war would become unstoppable.

You'll have to give Albus Dumbledore some credit for what penalty he had cooked up.

The mischievous old coot had decided to have the boys change their identity for the remainder of the year. Into females. In opposite houses. Without the rest of the student body knowing.

(Although the names they had chosen for their female counterparts were not very inconspicuous.)

Ah, yes. As Phineas Nigellus once said, Dumbledore's got style.

But that's not what Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy was thinking at this very moment.

Their thought processes were more along the lines of:

_When I get my hands on his wrinkly, old head…_

Or:

_I'll rip that beard right out of his chin._

They were not happy campers.

Two voluptuous females exited the room, looking uncomfortable and distraught.

Minerva McGonagall and Severus Snape were waiting just outside of the door of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

"Oh my," said Professor McGonagall. She had known the results of the potion, but she had not expected the boys to look so _feminine_. "Ahem. If you two would follow us to the Headmaster's office for further instruction."

Snape's facial expression did not change much, other than the slight widening of his eyes.

Draco and Harry spoke not a word. Couldn't tell who was more embarrassed. Harry, who loathed Snape, or Draco, who worshiped him.

It was a blessing that Snape thought it too disturbing to probe their minds.

After walking quietly for a while, Draco said under his breath, "These knickers are a pain in the arse."

"Told you not to wear them," replied Harry with mirth, watching Malfoy waddle.

Draco glared. "Shut up."

"Blow Pops," McGonagall said to a stone gargoyle, after sending Draco and Harry a disquieting frown.

The two had hardly noticed they were nearing Dumbledore's office.

McGonagall stepped aside. "Go ahead. He will be waiting for you."

With Harry in the lead, they walked passed the gargoyle and Snape, whose lip was curling (whether in disgust or amusement, neither knew) and entered the circling stairway.

Dumbledore, seated behind his desk, had his hands carefully folded on some books.

"Ah, come in. Come in," he said, eyes twinkling. "Do take a seat."

Draco and Harry sat on the two velvety seats across the desk.

"Tea? Blow Pops?" the headmaster offered.

They shook their heads civilly.

"Well," said Dumbledore, slightly put out. "Down to business, I suppose."

He handed each student a notebook from his desk. "Here are your assignments for the next two months, along with the aliases you will be assuming. Each day, you will be completing one task. If the task is not completed, further punishment will be given."

Draco, at the time, was skimming his assumed bio. "You can't be serious!"

"Yes, Miss Mallory. I am quite serious."

"No, I mean—I'm a Mudblood?" He pointed at the papers in front of him.

"Oh," said Dumbledore smiling. "I believe Dracella Mallory is a muggleborn, yes."

"But," Draco, or Dracella, spluttered. "How am I supposed to know anything about being a Muggle?"

"You have been taking courses in Muggle Studies, is that correct?"

"Well, yes—"

"Then you should have no problem. Professor Burbage is an excellent educator."

By the tone of Dumbledore's voice, Draco knew the discussion was over. He growled and lowered to his seat.

"Do not slump, Miss Mallory. It is unbecoming of a lady," said Dumbledore, smiling once more. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Take one, both of you." He handed Harry and Draco two beaded bracelets. They placed the jewelry on their respective hands.

"This is a Detecting Device. It will indicate to me whether or not you have completed your daily task by midnight."

"But Professor," said Harry, or rather, Harriet. "What happens if we don't complete the task?"

"That is for me to decide." Dumbledore peered over his half-moon spectacles. "Is there anything you two would like to ask me before I send you to your new dormitories?"

"I think this covers it all," replied Harry, pointing at his green notebook. Draco refused to reply; he was so upset.

Just then, a knock came from behind the office door along with a thud and "Ow!" that sounded remarkably familiar to Harry.

"Enter," called the headmaster.

"You wanted to see me, Professor?" said Pansy Parkinson silkily, walking into the office as if she owned the place. Hermione Granger stood behind her, holding an arm in pain. Her hair was frazzled, and she was glaring at Pansy with utter discontent.

"Yes, Miss Parkinson, Miss Granger. Please come in," said Professor Dumbledore. "I would like you two to meet Dracella Mallory and Harriet Porter."

"I'm sorry, Professor. I don't think I heard you right," Hermione remarked.

"Then get your ears checked," seethed Pansy. Hermione looked affronted. But Pansy was used to looks like that.

Pansy eyed Dracella Mallory up and down, thinking, _Well look at the new blonde bimbo_.

Female bullying was not pleasant. It involved protruding chests, 'I'm-better-than-you' looks, and upturned noses. Draco did not like this side of Pansy Parkinson. Even he was a little intimidated. He crossed his arms around his (fairly soft) chest and held her gaze. He couldn't lose his composition to a girl—Parkinson no less!

The Headmaster continued on as if no words had been passed, smiling his quirky smile. "Miss Granger and Miss Parkinson, as prefects of your houses I would like you to escort these two fine ladies from Beaubaxtons around the castle. They are…exchange students, if you will, and will need to adjust to their new confinements."

"That's the biggest understatement," began Draco before being elbowed by Harry.

"Of course, Professor Dumbledore," piped Hermione, who smiled at both Dracella and Harriet. She decided that she liked Harriet much better because she did not sneer at her.

Harry smiled sympathetically. Hermione wouldn't know what hit her.

"Miss Porter and Miss Mallory, adjustments have been made for your arrival. Your belongings are already in your dormitories. Dracella will be rooming with Hermione Granger, and Harriet with Pansy Parkinson."

Hermione's face was slightly crestfallen, but only for a minute. She had thought that Harriet would make a more amiable roommate.

On the other hand, Pansy had just taken notice of Harriet and discovered that she did not particularly like the new girl. She was fidgety, her chest was lacking, and she was undoubtedly insecure. Pansy did not like insecure people. But then again, followers came in handy sometimes.

"Run along," said Dumbledore. "It is nearly curfew. I hope you enjoy your stay, ladies."

Harry grinded his teeth in reply. Draco merely glared. But both were whisked away by their new Housemates.

* * *

**A/N:** I understand this gender switching is not an original idea. It is my take on an unoriginal idea. And this is **not** **slash**. Please share with me your thoughts! 


End file.
